Post by Mai on Mar 15, 2013 8:49:33 GMT -5
Some of you know some of whats gone on, but it isn't just the stuff relating to the forums.. it's my real life, and the downward spiral I've been on for the past couple of months.. I just lost a really good friend to cancer, and my living situation may suddenly become even worse should things not go as hoped. There's a lot more going on which I'll not detail here.
I don't expect people to understand. In fact I sorta anticipate more of a landslide and unwarranted finger pointing directed at me since people seem to believe a lot of whats been going on is my fault. Its not. I won't take the blame for the wrongs done to my friends and I.
It comes down to whether or not this place remains somewhere I felt confident in being, and being a part of. Or if the things that got swept under the rug have added too much weight to my already stressful life, and left me too disheartened to remain an active part of Maelstrom.
I've relinquished my role as Wukong because of everything that has happened. I was ready to just walk away, and be done with it. It's taken me days to reach a point of being able to think clearly and consider everything that has happened, but not without doing things I now hope to reconcile for. I let my tunnel vision get the better of me, and did a bit of damage in retaliation to the decisions made by Maelstrom staff. While I feel my trust and confidence in their decisions has been severely compromised, I also recognize that I overreacted to a degree. And in my attempt to make a point, alienated my friends. For that, I am deeply sorry and hope that things may be resolved with those afflicted by my anger.
It may be a while before I feel confident in being a part of this community again. Whats happened, coupled with the immense amount of stress and worry from real life has cut a deep wound and has left me feeling unwelcome, and set apart from the community.
I appreciate the votes for OC of the month. I've not dismissed that in the slightest, and that is one of the things keeping me hanging on to the idea of remaining. But my will is exhausted, and my emotions are strained to the point of breaking.
At the very least my presence will be substantially reduced.
If you want to contact me, you can do so via forum PMs.
I removed a lot of people from both skype and the LoL client. It's nothing personal. I distanced myself to try to work through what has been going on. PM me if you want to be re-added.
I don't expect people to understand. In fact I sorta anticipate more of a landslide and unwarranted finger pointing directed at me since people seem to believe a lot of whats been going on is my fault. Its not. I won't take the blame for the wrongs done to my friends and I.
It comes down to whether or not this place remains somewhere I felt confident in being, and being a part of. Or if the things that got swept under the rug have added too much weight to my already stressful life, and left me too disheartened to remain an active part of Maelstrom.
I've relinquished my role as Wukong because of everything that has happened. I was ready to just walk away, and be done with it. It's taken me days to reach a point of being able to think clearly and consider everything that has happened, but not without doing things I now hope to reconcile for. I let my tunnel vision get the better of me, and did a bit of damage in retaliation to the decisions made by Maelstrom staff. While I feel my trust and confidence in their decisions has been severely compromised, I also recognize that I overreacted to a degree. And in my attempt to make a point, alienated my friends. For that, I am deeply sorry and hope that things may be resolved with those afflicted by my anger.
It may be a while before I feel confident in being a part of this community again. Whats happened, coupled with the immense amount of stress and worry from real life has cut a deep wound and has left me feeling unwelcome, and set apart from the community.
I appreciate the votes for OC of the month. I've not dismissed that in the slightest, and that is one of the things keeping me hanging on to the idea of remaining. But my will is exhausted, and my emotions are strained to the point of breaking.
At the very least my presence will be substantially reduced.
If you want to contact me, you can do so via forum PMs.
I removed a lot of people from both skype and the LoL client. It's nothing personal. I distanced myself to try to work through what has been going on. PM me if you want to be re-added.
