Biggest thing I can say at the moment, Diana, since I haven't read most of your posts, is that you should find a different color font for your words. The white text is difficult to read against the light gray background.
Post by Tybresa Farrister-Cassalantar on Apr 15, 2013 11:57:25 GMT -5
I fear I'm not in the position to help you, Poppy, but when time allows it, I will give your posts a good read and let you know what I think.
But that's not the reason I'm popping up in here, I'm actually ... looking for feedback myself. Anything. I want to hear what people think of my writing, the way I portray characters, anything you can throw at me.
... I am a very self-conscious person and I can't live without constant feedback, as some people would know ._.
Same here. Sometimes I feel like my role playing sucks and I need a few pointers on how I can improve. I'm already under criticism for Titus and I don't know what the rest thinks about my RPing. So same with Tybresa, I need constructive criticism.
Post by Jonathan Xiang-Lewis on Apr 15, 2013 14:15:08 GMT -5
Alright, I'll break the dead-lock here and, after reading some posts, give my take:
Diana: definitely in-character, and the descriptions are also well done(so good job on that so far!), but agree with Riven: the white text makes it somewhat of a doozy to read at times, so consider using some other color or some way to not make the speech text pure white.
Poppy: not many mistakes I can find as of now: good style, writing quality is solid, and you do a good job portraying the Iron Ambassador well as a whole; so I really can't find much to have thought about; your quality is what really drives it home, so keep it up!
Tybresa: Same case as Poppy, good portrayal, good style, and overall great quality. A small pleasure to read your posts, I'll admit.
Titus: portrayal-wise maybe consider a less 'aggresive' character: sometimes it sounds like you're the doubter in a group, and a super powerful mage who is also commander of an armed force (Navy) seems a bit odd to have such an attitude; not a major concern here, however.
Grammar-wise, consider spacing out your posts every once in a while, the clutter is a bit tough to read, though a good touch to color your speech text blue at times. Overall, Titus, you're in a good position: just consider what he is position-wise in terms of his character and attitude for future RPs.
Well, that was a small ounce of effort... I guess I'll put myself up for an evaluation.
"There's only one thing that I know for sure is true: 'Truth is relative.'" -Jon
"What side you're on isn't of concern to me. What is of concern is that you're hurt, and I need to treat you for it." -Jon
"Contrary to what some believe, violence does not solve everything. In fact, it solves nothing." -Jon
Titus: portrayal-wise maybe consider a less 'aggresive' character: sometimes it sounds like you're the doubter in a group, and a super powerful mage who is also commander of an armed force (Navy) seems a bit odd to have such an attitude; not a major concern here, however.
Grammar-wise, consider spacing out your posts every once in a while, the clutter is a bit tough to read, though a good touch to color your speech text blue at times. Overall, Titus, you're in a good position: just consider what he is position-wise in terms of his character and attitude for future RPs.
Thanks! Not only it's going to help in renovating my character a lot, but it's going to give me a set attitude on how I am supposed to RP with him. Yea. You probably saw the earlier posts (maybe January and February) of me. I personally didn't know what Titus should be. With your insight in my character, it gives me more of a clear view on what Titus should be. Plus Ashe is helping me so...woohoo!
Oh! And as for Poppy, I do like your portrayal with your character! Steeled in her mind, body, and heart defines her and I think you're doing a kickass job roleplaying as her.
Diana, I've seen a few of your posts (in the time where you visited Swain) but I can already say that you're just as good as Poppy. But as for the quotes, you need to find a different color. I need to highlight the text just to see what you said.
As for the original characters like Tybresa and Jonathan, I don't know what to think of you guys, primarily because I haven't seen your posts and I don't know your motives. Especially for Jon, your bio felt like a novel! I didn't want to read the entire thing! But anyways, I can assume that you're doing a good job.
Post by The Tidal Trickster on Apr 16, 2013 14:37:17 GMT -5
This is a role that I'm not used to yet, so I'm quite nervous about how I'm doing. Any feedback anyone?
Best places to check for my posts are the "Trickster's "Gift" " at Bandle City subforum, and the Depths of the Guardian's Sea at Exploration (solo adventure thing)
Welcome to Maelstrom, Original Characters, Summoners and Champions alike. We are a divergent setting roleplay forum for the ever-popular MOBA by Riot, League of Legends. This means we are based in Riot canon, but your characters' actions can have a real, lasting impact on the world. Together, the Maelstrom community endeavors to bring the League of Legends setting and characters to life through collaborative storytelling and meaningful development. We welcome you along for the ride.
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